Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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