Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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