Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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