Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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