Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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