Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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