Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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