Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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