Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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