Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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