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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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