Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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