Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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