Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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