Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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