Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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