Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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