Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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