Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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