Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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