Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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