Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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