Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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