Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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