Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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