Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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