Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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