Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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