Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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