Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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