Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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