Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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