Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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