Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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