Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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