Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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