Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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