Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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