Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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