Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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