Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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