Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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