Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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