Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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