Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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