Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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