Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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