Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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