Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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