Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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