Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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