Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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