Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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