Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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