Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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