Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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