Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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