Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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