Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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