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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile
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