Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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