Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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