Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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