Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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