Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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