Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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