Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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