Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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