Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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