Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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