Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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