Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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