Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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