Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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