Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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