Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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