Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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