Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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