Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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