Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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