Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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