Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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