Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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