Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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