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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No I deer
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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?
The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What kind of music do planets sing?
Neptunes!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.
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