Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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