Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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