Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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