Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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