Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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