Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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