Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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