Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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