Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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