Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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