Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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