Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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