Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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