Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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