Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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