Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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