Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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