Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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