Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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