Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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