Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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