Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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