Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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