Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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