Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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