Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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