Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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