Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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