Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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