Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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