Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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