Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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