Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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