Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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