Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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