Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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