Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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