Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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