Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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