Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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