Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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