Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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