Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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