Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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