Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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