Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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