Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

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