Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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