Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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