Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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