Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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