Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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