Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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