Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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