Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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