Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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