Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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