Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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