Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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