Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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