Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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