Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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