Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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