Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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