Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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