Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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