Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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