Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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