Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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