Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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