Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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