Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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