Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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