Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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