Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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