Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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