Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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