Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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