Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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