Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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