Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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