Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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