Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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