Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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