Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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