Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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