Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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