Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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