Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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