Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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