Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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