Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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