Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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