Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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