Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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