Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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