Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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