Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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