Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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