Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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