Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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