Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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