Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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