Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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