Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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