Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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