Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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