Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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