Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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