Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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