Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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