Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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