Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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