Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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