Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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