Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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