Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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