Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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