Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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