Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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