Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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