Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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