Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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