Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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