Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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