Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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