Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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