Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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