Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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