Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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