Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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