Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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