Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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