Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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