Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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