Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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