Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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