Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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