Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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