Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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