Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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