Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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