Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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