Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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