Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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