Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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