Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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