Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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