Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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