Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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