Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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