Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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