Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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