Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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