Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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