Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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