Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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