Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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