Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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