Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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