Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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