Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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