Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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