Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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