Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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