Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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