Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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