Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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