Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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