Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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