Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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