Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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