Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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