Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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