Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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