Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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