Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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