Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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