Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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