Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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