Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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