Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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