Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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