Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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