Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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