Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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