Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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