Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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