Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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