Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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