Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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