Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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