Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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