Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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