Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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