Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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