Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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