Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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