Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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