Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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