Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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