Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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