Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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