Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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