Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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