Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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