Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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