Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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