Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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