Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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