Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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