Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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