Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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