Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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