Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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