Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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