Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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