Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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