Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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