Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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