Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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