Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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