Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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