Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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