Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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