Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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