Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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