Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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