Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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