Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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