Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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