Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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