Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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