Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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