Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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