Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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