Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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