Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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