Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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