Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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