Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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