Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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