Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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