Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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