Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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