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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
She stole his heart.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
"Many hands make light work."
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What's black and white and red all over?
A blushing zebra.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?
The Flea Stooges!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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