Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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