Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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