Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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