Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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