Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!


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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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