Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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