Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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