Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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