Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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