Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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