Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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