Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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