Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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