Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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