Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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