Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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