Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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