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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
She stole his heart.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?
French Flies.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?
Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?
Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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