Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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