Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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