Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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