Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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