Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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