Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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