Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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A seal walks into a club...
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