Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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