Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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