Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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