Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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