Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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