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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A jury.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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