Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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