Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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