Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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