Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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