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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?
O I C U R M T
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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