Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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