Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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