Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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