Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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