Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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