Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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