Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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