Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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