Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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