Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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