Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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