Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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