Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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