Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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