Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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