Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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