Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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