Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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