Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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