Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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