Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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