Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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