Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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