Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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