Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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