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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do locomotives hear?
Through the engineers.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Holly Davidson.
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Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...
Does Boston stop at this train?
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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