Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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