Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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