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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-Jeans.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it's full.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?
[A Condesending con descending]
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