Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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