Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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