Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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