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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave a little wine
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What do vampires take when they are sick?
Coffin drops!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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