Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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