Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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