Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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