Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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