Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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