Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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