Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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