Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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