Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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