Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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