Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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