Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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