Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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