Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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