Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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