Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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