Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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