Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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