Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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