Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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