Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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