Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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