Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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