Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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