Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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