Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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