Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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