Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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