Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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