Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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