Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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