Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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