Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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