Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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