Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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