Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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