Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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