Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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