Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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