Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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