Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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