Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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