Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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