Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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