Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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