Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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