Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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