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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?
Terrorists have sympathizers
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?
A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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