Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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