Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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