Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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