Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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