Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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