Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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