Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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