Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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