Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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