Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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