Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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