Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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