Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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