Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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