Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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