Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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