Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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