Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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