Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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