Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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