Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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