Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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