Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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