Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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