Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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