Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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