Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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