Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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