Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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