Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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