Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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