Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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