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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A Moo-sician!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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