Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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