Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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