Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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