Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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