Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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