Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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