Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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