Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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