Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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