Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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