Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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