Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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