Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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