Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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