Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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