Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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