Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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