Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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