Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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