Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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