Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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