Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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