Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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