Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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