Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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