Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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