Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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