Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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