Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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