Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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