Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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