Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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