Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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