Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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