Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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