Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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