Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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