Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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