Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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