Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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