Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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