Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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