Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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