Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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