Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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