Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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