Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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