Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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