Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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