Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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