Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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