Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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