Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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