Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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