Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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