Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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