Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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