Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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