Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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