Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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