Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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