Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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