Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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