Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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