Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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