Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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