Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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