Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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