Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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