Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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