Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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