Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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