Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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