Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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