Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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