Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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