Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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