Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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