Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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