Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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