Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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