Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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