Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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