Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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