Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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