Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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