Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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