Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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