Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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