Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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