Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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