Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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