Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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