Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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