Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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