Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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