Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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