Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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