Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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