Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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