Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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