Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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