Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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