Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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