Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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