Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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