Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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