Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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