Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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