Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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