Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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