Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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