Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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