Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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