Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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