Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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