Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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