Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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