Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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