Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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