Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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