Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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