Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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