Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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