Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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