Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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