Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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