Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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