Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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