Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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