Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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