Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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