Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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