Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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