Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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