Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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