Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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