Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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