Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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