Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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