Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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