Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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