Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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