Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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