Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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