Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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