Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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