Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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