Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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