Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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