Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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