Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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