Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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