Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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