Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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