Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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