Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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