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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A phew.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?
The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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