Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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