Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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