Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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