Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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