Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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