Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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