Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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