Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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