Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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