Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!

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