Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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