Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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