Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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