Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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