Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Iíve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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