Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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