Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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