Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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