Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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