Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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