Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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