Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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