Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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