Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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