Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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