Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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