Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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