Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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