Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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