Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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