Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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