Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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