Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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