Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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