Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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