Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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