Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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