Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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