Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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