Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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