Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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