Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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