Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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