Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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