Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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