Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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