Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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