Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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