Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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