Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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