Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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