Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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