Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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