Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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