Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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