Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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