Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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