Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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