Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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