Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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