Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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