Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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