Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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