Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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