Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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