Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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