Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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