Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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