Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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