Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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