Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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