Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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