Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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