Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)

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