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Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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