Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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