Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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