Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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