Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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