Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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