Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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