Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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