Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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