Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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