Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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