Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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