Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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