Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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