Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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