Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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