Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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