Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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