Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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