Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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