Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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