Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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