Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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