Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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