Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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