Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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