Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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