Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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