Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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