Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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