Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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