Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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