Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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