Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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