Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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