Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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