Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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