Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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