Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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