Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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