Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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