Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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