Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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