Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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