Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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