Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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