Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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