Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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