Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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