Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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