Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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