Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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