Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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