Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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