Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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