Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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