Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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