Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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