Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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