Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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