Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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