Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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