Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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