Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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