Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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