Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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