Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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