Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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