Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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