Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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