Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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