Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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