Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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