Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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