Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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