Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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