Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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