Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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