Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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