Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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