Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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