Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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