Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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