Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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