Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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