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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?
Slippers!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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