Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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