Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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