Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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