Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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