Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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