Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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