Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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