Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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