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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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Four fonts walk into a bar
the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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