Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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