Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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