Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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