Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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