Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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