Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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