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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
Snow balls!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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