Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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