Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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