Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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