Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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