Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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