Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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