Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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