Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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