Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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