Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
Canvas not available.

or


Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
Canvas not available.

or


A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
Canvas not available.

or


How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
Canvas not available.

or


What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
Canvas not available.

or


How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
Canvas not available.

or


Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Canvas not available.

or


How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026