Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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