Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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