Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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