Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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