Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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