Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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