Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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