Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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