Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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