Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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