Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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