Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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