Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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