Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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