Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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