Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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