Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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