Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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