Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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