Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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