Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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