Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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