Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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