Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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