Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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