Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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