Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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