Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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