Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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