Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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