Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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