Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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