Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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