Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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