Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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