Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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