Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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