Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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