Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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