Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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