Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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