Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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