Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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