Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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