Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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