Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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