Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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