Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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