Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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