Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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