Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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