Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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