Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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