Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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