Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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