Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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