Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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