Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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