Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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