Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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