Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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