Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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