Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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