Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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