Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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