Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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