Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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