Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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