Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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