Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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