Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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