Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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