Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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