Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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