Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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