Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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