Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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