Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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