Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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