Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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