Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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