Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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