Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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