Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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