Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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