Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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