Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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