Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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