Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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