Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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