Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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