Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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