Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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