Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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