Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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