Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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