Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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