Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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