Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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