Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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