Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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