Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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