Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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