Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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