Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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