Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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