Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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