Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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