Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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