Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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