Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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