Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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