Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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