Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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