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Why did the drum take a nap?
It was beat.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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What is a cow's favorite place?
The mooseum.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
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