Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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