Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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