Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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