Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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