Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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