Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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