Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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