Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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