Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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