Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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