Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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