Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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