Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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