Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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