Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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