Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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