Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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