Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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