Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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