Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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