Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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