Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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