Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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