Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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