Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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