Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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