Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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