Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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