Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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