Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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