Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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