Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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