Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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