Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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