Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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