Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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