Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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