Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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