Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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