Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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