Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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