Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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