Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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