Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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