Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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