Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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