Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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