Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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