Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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