Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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