Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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