Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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