Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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