Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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