Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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