Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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