Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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