Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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