Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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