Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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