Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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