Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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