Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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