Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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