Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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