Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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