Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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