Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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