Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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