Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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