Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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