Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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