Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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