Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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