Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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