Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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