Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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