Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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