Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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