Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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