Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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