Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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