Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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