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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?
Sherlock Bones.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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