Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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