Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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