Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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