Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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