Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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