Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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