Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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