Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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