Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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