Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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