Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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