Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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