Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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