Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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