Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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