Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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