Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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