Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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