Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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