Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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