Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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