Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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