Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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