Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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