Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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