Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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