Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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