Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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