Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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