Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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