Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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