Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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