Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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