Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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