Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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