Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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