Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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