Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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