Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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