Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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A seal walks into a club...



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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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