Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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