Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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