Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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