Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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