Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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