Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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