Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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