Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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