Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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