Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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