Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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