Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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