Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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