Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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