Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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