Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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