Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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