Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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