Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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