Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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