Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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