Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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