Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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