Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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