Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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