Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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