Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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