Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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