Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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