Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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