Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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