Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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