Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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