Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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