Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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