Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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