Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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