Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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