Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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