Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!


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