Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.


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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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