Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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