Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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