Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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