Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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