Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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