Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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