Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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