Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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