Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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