Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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