Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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