Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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