Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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