Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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