Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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