Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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