Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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