Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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