Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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