Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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