Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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