Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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