Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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