Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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