Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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