Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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