Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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