Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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