Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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