Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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