Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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