Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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