Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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