Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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