Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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