Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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