Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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