Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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