Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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