Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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