Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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