Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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