Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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