Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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