Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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