Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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