Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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