Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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