Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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