Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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A seal walks into a club...
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