Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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