Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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