Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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