Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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