Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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