Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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