Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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