Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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