Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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