Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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