Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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