Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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