Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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