Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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