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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a Tuba glue.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?
You're the only bright spot in my life.
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