Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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