Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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