Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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