Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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