Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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