Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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