Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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