Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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