Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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