Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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