Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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