Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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