Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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