Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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