Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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