Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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