Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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