Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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