Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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