Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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