Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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