Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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