Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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