Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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