Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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