Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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