Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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