Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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