Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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