Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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