Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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