Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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