Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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