Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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