Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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