Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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