Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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