Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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