Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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