Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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