Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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