Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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