Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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