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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
In his trunk
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
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