Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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