Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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