Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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