Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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