Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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