Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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