Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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