Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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