Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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