Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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