Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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