Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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