Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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