Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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