Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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