Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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