Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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