Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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