Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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