Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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