Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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