Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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