Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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