Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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