Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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