Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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