Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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