Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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