Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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