Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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