Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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