Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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