Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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