Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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