Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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