Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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