Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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