Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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