Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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