Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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