Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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