Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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