Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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