Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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