Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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