Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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