Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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