Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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