Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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