Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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