Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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