Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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