Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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