Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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