Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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