Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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