Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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