Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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