Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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