Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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