Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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