Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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