Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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