Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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