Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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