Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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