Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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