Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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