Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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