Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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