Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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