Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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