Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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