Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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