Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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