Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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