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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?
he got a little behind in his work.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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