Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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