Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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