Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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