Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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