Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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