Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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