Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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