Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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