Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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