Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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