Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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