Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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