Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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