Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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