Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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