Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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