Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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