Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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