Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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