Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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