Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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