Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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