Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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