Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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