Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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