Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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