Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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