Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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