Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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