Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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