Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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