Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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