Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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