Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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