Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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