Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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