Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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