Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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