Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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