Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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