Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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