Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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