Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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