Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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