Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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