Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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